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Hindu weddings - pre-marriage rituals
It is a tradition in Hindu society for the parents to seek out a suitable partner
for their son or daughter. Extended family members and friends are called upon
to suggest a prospective spouse. After the initial enquiries, in-depth checks
of the possible partner’s family background are carried out. This will include
checking the family’s social, educational, religious, and financial status.
If everything is considered satisfactory, then an astrologer will check that
the horoscopes of the two partners are compatible, and a date is set for the sagai
(formal engagement ceremony). An astrologer will normally calculate the best date
and time for the sagai - the first of many religious ceremonies in a Hindu marriage.
Firstly, formal visits are made. In some castes (Hindu social groups), members
of the groom’s extended family - including father, brothers, older relatives,
and close friends - will visit the bride’s house. In other castes, the practice
is reversed, with members of the bride’s family visiting the groom’s
house.
During a sagai, the bride’s eldest brother or father places a tilak
(a red mark) on the forehead of the groom, and presents him with a coconut, a
gold ring or coin, and some other ornaments, depending on the financial status
of the bride’s family. Gifts for other members of the groom’s family
may also be presented.
The groom’s family then presents the bride’s family with gifts.
These include garments, jewellery, and cosmetics. They must include mehandi (henna),
glass bangles, hair oil, and a comb. Traditionally, unmarried females were not
supposed to use cosmetics, so this gift symbolises the bride’s graduation
into womanhood.
Once the marriage date is determined, a formal wedding invitation is sent to
the grandparents of the bride and groom. It is then distributed to the rest of
the extended family and friends.
In the homes of the bride and the groom, religious ceremonies start from between
three to five days before the marriage date. This is a very happy time, and is
accompanied by the singing of auspicious songs by the women.
During this time, the bride and groom will also be anointed with pithi (or
haldi) - a specially prepared paste. Parents in both homes perform special prayers
during this time to Ganesh, the Hindu god of good fortune, and to the Navagraha
or ‘nine celestial bodies’.
The kangan bandhan ceremony is usually performed between one to three days
before the wedding ceremony, and sometimes on the same day as the pithi ceremony.
Kangan bandham involves attaching various objects, including thread and jewellery
containing iron - which is believed to ward off evil spirits - to the couple’s
wrists. Once the ceremony has been completed, the bride and groom are not supposed
to leave their homes until the wedding ceremony begins.
Glossary
castes
Hindu social groups
Ganesh
The Hindu god of good fortune, also known as the remover of obstacles
kangan bandhan (or shaitak in Gujarati)
a pre-marriage ceremony held in order to ward off evil spirits
mehandi (or henna)
a green paste made from the crushed leaves of the mehandi tree that forms an orange-red
mark when applied to the skin
navagraha
the ‘nine celestial bodies’ that Hindus believe influence a person’s
life
pithi (or haldi)
a specially prepared paste applied to the bride and groom before their wedding
sagai
formal engagement ceremony
tilak
a red mark, applied to the groom’s forehead by the bride’s father
or brother
More information
William R Levacy. (1999). Beneath a Vedic Sky. California: Hay House.
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