The Sikh religion places great importance on marriage. Nine of the ten founding
Gurus (holy men) of the Sikh religion were married. Sikh marriages are usually
arranged by parents, or subject to their consent, and, as for other religions
in India, are seen as the joining of two families. Middlemen are sometimes used
to select suitable marriage partners.
Sikhs call weddings Anand Karaj (Ceremonies of Bliss). These usually take place
at the bride's home or at the Gurdwara (Sikh temple). Like all other important
ceremonies, Sikh weddings must take place in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib - the holy book which Sikhs revere as a living
Guru (teacher) because of the principles and philosophy enshrined within it.
Before the wedding ceremony, there is often an engagement ceremony. At this
ceremony, men and women from both families gather and exchange gifts. The bride
and her female relatives have their own ceremony, where she has her hands and
feet painted with mehandi (henna).
The groom's relatives send the bride gifts of jewellery, clothes, and a chunni
(red scarf). The bride will wear these gifts at the wedding.
The wedding ceremony begins with the arrival at the wedding venue of the baraat
(the bridegroom's party). The bride, with her parents and relatives, awaits her
groom, with his parents and relatives, at the entrance of the venue. On the groom's
arrival, the bride's party sings a hymn of welcome. The hymn is called 'Hum ghar
saajan aye', meaning 'good and friendly people have come to our home'.
Ardas (prayers) are recited, followed by the milni ceremony. The main aim of
this ceremony is to help the bride's and groom's friends and relatives to become
more acquainted with each other.
As well as the singing of the shabad (holy verse), the milni sees the male
relatives of the bride and groom embrace and hang garlands around each other's
neck. The groom's party is then escorted into the wedding venue or the Gurdwara
(Sikh temple), where Sri Guru Granth Sahib is placed on a takhat (throne).
The bride wears either a salwar kameez (trousers and tunic), or a sari
with a headscarf and gold jewellery. The groom normally wears a pink turban, with
either Indian or Western dress.
The bride and groom show that they agree to be married by bowing before Sri Guru
Granth Sahib. The bride's father then 'gives away' his daughter by bringing the
groom's scarf over the groom's right shoulder and placing it in the bride's hands.
The couple are now ready for the ceremony of the four lawan.
The lawan are marriage hymns, each of which describes a stage in married life.
They also celebrate the Sikh ideal of eternal bliss, 'the ultimate union of the
Individual Soul with the Universal Soul'. (1)
Since a wedding is seen as the union of two souls, Guru Ram Das (1534-81),
who composed the lawan, felt the lawan should be the stages by which a marriage
should be celebrated. 'They (the married couple) are not to be called husband
and wife who only sit together; rather they are husband and wife who have one
spirit in two bodies'. (2)
The granthi (priest) first reads the lawan, then they are sung. While each
stanza is being sung, the couple walk around Sri Guru Granth Sahib.
The couple are considered married when they bow their heads to Sri Guru Granth Sahib
after the fourth lawan is sung.
The groom's parents and relatives then garland the couple, blessing the newlyweds,
and thus signifying the acceptance of the marriage by the groom's parents. Final
hymns ('Wyah hova mere Babla') are sung, and sweet food is given to all at the
wedding. This is followed by feasting.
Finally, the bride departs for her husband's home. This is often an emotional
event, as the bride's parents now have to come to terms with their daughter leaving
the parental home to start a new life with her husband.
References
(1) Order of Service, Wedding of Kalvant Kaur and Carl Jason Hughes,
1992. Wellington.
(2) ibid
Glossary
Anand Karaj
'Ceremonies of Bliss' - the Sikh term for wedding
ardas
Sikh prayers
baraat
the bridegroom's party
chunni
red scarf
Granthi
a Sikh priest
Gurdwara
a Sikh temple
mehandi (henna)
a green paste made from the crushed leaves of the mehandi tree, and applied to
the skin of a bride
lahanga
a full gathered skirt
lawan
four sacred marriage vows, sung as hymns at the wedding, which form a crucial
part of the Sikh marriage ceremony
milni
ceremony involving male relatives of bride and groom, where they embrace each
other and hang garlands around each other's necks
salwar kameez
trousers gathered at the ankle, and a three-quarter-length embroidered tunic with
a dupatta (scarf) of red and gold.
sari
a length of uncut and unsewn cloth that is draped around the body
Sri Guru Granth Sahib
the Sikh holy book, which Sikhs revere as a living teacher
takhat
throne
More reading
Aggarwal, M. (1984). I am a Sikh. Sydney: F Watts.
Bennett, O. (1985). A Sikh Wedding. London: H. Hamilton.
Singh, D & Smith, A. (1985). The Sikh World. London: MacDonald.
